God's love and Christian Marriage

Today is the Second Sunday in Ordinary Time. As Father has explained before, any Sunday in Ordinary Time is no less important than the liturgical seasons of Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter. The word “Ordinary” as used here comes from the word “ordinal” or “numbered” – simply - to mark our Sundays… to organize the readings.

Actually, on Sundays in Ordinary Time – we focus on the mystery of Christ in its fullness – we focus more on the various aspects of our faith, our mission in the world as sharing in the mission of Christ…. Who calls us to live out, to express in our daily lives the messages of the various solemnities of the Christmas and Easter seasons.

So, the question is: Is the message of Christmas clear to us. How is our faith in the resurrection of Christ expressed in our lives; in our attitudes?

Christmas reminds us of how life ought to be all year round. .. life filled with sense of self-giving, joy, peace and hope… regardless of this pandemic or circumstances we might find ourselves in… because Jesus – Emmanuel is always with us – Christ has conquered sin and death….and so we become ourselves the manifestation of the Love of God in the flesh…. for others… the message of the Epiphany.

Epiphany continues beyond the Christmas season.… God continually reveals Himself and His love for us – sometimes in extraordinary ways and sometimes in the ordinary things of our every day lives.

Today’s first reading from Isaiah and the Gospel reading speak about marriage.

The first reading from Isaiah prophesies that God’s love is experienced like the love experienced in marriage, the love of a bridegroom for his bride…

It is difficult for human beings to understand the love God has for us. God loves us, even when we ignore him; even when we do not show the love that we should have for him. So, for the prophet Isaiah, the best way to explain this was to use as an analogy the love that exist in a happy marriage.

That’s why we hear so often the imagery that the Church is the bride of Christ – who self-sacrificingly gave Himself totally for His bride.

When we see a married couple live out their commitment faithfully; when we see that self-sacrificing love of giving self completely to the other, we get a glimpse in that marriage relationship the love God has for us - so complete, so real, so self-sacrificing… which makes their marriage a sacrament in the true sense of the word… a sign, a symbol of God’s love.

… which means - The Lord reveals himself also in the typical, ordinary events of a loving, Christian marriage.

Before I continue, I need to mention that this is not ignoring the witness to the love of God by those who are not married… This is not saying that if you are not married, your life cannot be as godly….

Whatever status in life we are in… whatever vocation we have…. whether it be as a spouse, whether it be as a priest, whether it be as a religious, whether it be as single… whatever it is….our vocation has been given to us to draw us closer to our God…and in turn to be witnesses to the love of God…in our status in life. This is the universal call to holiness….

Today I just would like to focus on Christian marriage in the light of our readings today…and because the concept of marriage, particularly Christian sacramental marriage as a covenant relationship, is in crisis and is in constant attack in our society today. Marriage is being re-defined.

In fact, in my experience, more than half of the parents, often times two out of three of the parents presenting their babies for baptism here at St. Catherine’s are not married in the church.

I baptized one kid yesterday and the first thing I asked the parents was: Are you married and they answered no… How about civilly? The answer was no.

Meaning – many young couples now are either just living together or were married civilly.Somehow, our society presents marriage as a contract as we can see in the movies and many television shows, and in the lives of many celebrities and also within our own families and circle of friends.

Using business language - basically a contract is an agreement of two parties in which both parties receive certain goods or benefit. When those goods are no longer being received, the parties have the right to terminate the agreement. That’s the mentality we see in today’s society towards marriage also. It’s an agreement that can be broken. It’s about what I get, when I don’t get what I want anymore, we can break the agreement.
Similarly, in many cases, when the husband or wife is no longer having their needs met, they end the marriage… as simple as that.

That is why…many people today live together first to see if they will be happy, to see first if their needs will be met and then, when they feel all is well, then they decide to get married.

There was an article in New York times, researchers who expected the widespread practice of ''trial marriage'' to usher in an era of increased marital stability have been surprised by new studies showing that those who lived together before marriage separate and divorce in greater numbers than couples who go directly to the altar.

You might not agree with this, but at least consider this:
If a person enters into a relationship, such as in a “trial marriage”, to see if he or she will be happy, then he or she is more concerned with getting than giving. In those cases, even if the couple eventually decides to get “officially” married, for some it is still impossible to move from that selfish motivation to the Christian motivation which is to give – of one’s self completely.

Marriage is 100/100, not 50/50.

People ask: “But, how is a guy or girl to know that this person is right for him or her if we do not try it first?” What is important and necessary is faith….
Meaning – if you are single and are planning to get married, what is necessary is having Christ in your life, having personal relationship with Jesus, to guide you in your discernment regarding marriage: whether to marry or not, whom to marry, when to get married, where to get married.

When you surrender your life to Christ, he will guide you to do the right thing… to give you the grace to love in a selfless way rather than in a selfish way.
If and when you get married, with Christ in your life, at the center of your relationship, you can love your spouse more than you can humanly possibly love your spouse because it is now the love of Christ that loves your spouse…. And because of the presence of Christ’s love, your house becomes a Christian home; your water becomes wine.

These may all sound too idealistic…. not realistic… but as Christians – we need to continue to have the ideal of a Christian marriage…

The giving of self completely, the sacrificial love of marriage can seem to be impossible. Of course, on our own - it is impossible. But with God - it is not, nothing is impossible with God.

The miracle at Cana of six jugs of water turned into wine (about 20-30 gallons each) is a great image of the generosity of God and His grace…way beyond what we need, way beyond what we can ever imagine or expect. We just have to tap into it. We just have to believe and to trust.

We have the Eucharist, the Body and Blood of Christ, the grace Our Lord offers to us today and everyday for us to be renewed in our commitment… whatever vocation we might be in - to be renewed in offering of our lives to God and to each other – in our families, in our parish, and in our world.

God bless…